■ Yeshiva bocha, Torah scholar, long beard, payos. Seeks same in woman.

■ Worried about in-law meddling? I’m an orphan! Write.

■ Nice Jewish guy, 38. No skeletons. No baggage. No personality.

■ Are you the girl I spoke with at the kiddush after shul last week? You excused yourself to get more horseradish for your gefilte fish, but you never returned. How can I contact you again? (I was the one with the cholent stain on my tie).

■ Jewish businessman, 49, manufactures Sabbath candles, Chanukah candles, havdallah candles, Yahrzeit candles. Seeks non-smoker.

■ 80-year-old bubby, no assets, seeks handsome, virile Jewish male, under 35. Object matrimony. I can dream, can’t I?

■ I am a sensitive Jewish prince whom you can open your heart to. Share your innermost thoughts and deepest secrets. Confide in me. I’ll understand your insecurities. No fatties, please.

■ Jewish male, 34, very successful, smart, independent, self-made. Looking for girl whose father will hire me.

■ Single Jewish woman, 29, into disco, mountain climbing, skiing, track and field. Has slight limp.

■ Orthodox woman with get, seeks man who got get, or can get get. Get it? I’ll show you mine, if you show me yours.

■ Divorced Jewish man, seeks partner to attend shul with, light Shabbos candles, celebrate holidays, build Sukkah together, attend brisses, bar mitzvahs. Religion not important.